this weekend and today have been disgusting.
i fuckin ate so much.
i think i used to b stronger and have more self-control..
i have to go back on track. tomorrow will b a better day.

im on my second day of juice fasting.. all the juices are made by me :D
its pretty easy and i feel good! and i added soy protein powder so that my muscle arent going to disappere and some diet fiber.

today i had
B- Orange Apple juice (210kcal)
L- Melon Strawberry juice (110kcal)
D- 0kcal
Total: 320kcal
Gym: burned 400kcal

tomorrow i will do the same thing!
I will stop juice fasting saturday night and sunday coz i will have a dinner where i have to eat, and water fast monday!

hope everyone is doing fine!

xoxo

i did terrible this weekend from friday to sunday!!
its coz im about to have my period and that makes me eat like a fatass!! coz of this weekend im at 49kg(108pounds)again..

that means that i have to lose 6 pounds in 5 days!!

Today i had
B- Yogurt 50kcal, diet cocoa 25kcal
L- light peach juice 35kcal
D- baby carrots 20kcal cauliflower 20kcal and 2 bites of beef(about 30kcal)

Total: about 180kcal

Gym: burn 450kcal(spinning)

ugg i hate when i am about to get my period.. makes me want to eat soo much..

i have to lose 4 pounds in 8 days and i took like 900kcal today. im a pig. i burned 550kcal at the gym but still.. disgusting!

i will shoot myself if i dont weight less than 103 pounds for next friday.

Im going to burn 550kcal everyday and take less than 300kcal.

uggg im loosing my will power coz of my Pre-Menstrual Syndrome!!

i gotta stay strong!

today i burned about 600kcal in the gym, but i ate like a pig.. Literally!
im not gonna write down everything i ate coz it will take me forever but i know i took about 1600-2000 kcal. ugg i hate to go out with my bg sometimes coz he makes me eat a LOT!!

i tried to puke already but as usual i couldnt.. my stomach hurts..

according to this site(http://www.inch-aweigh.com/dcn.php) i need about 1747kcal daily to maintain my weight.. so i guess 1747kcal is what i burn just by surviving and doing sedentary work.
if i add 1747kcal + 600kcal(burned at the gym) = 2347(what i burned today)
is that right?
so 2000(kcal taken) - 2347(kcal burned) = -347kcal(kcal taken away from my fat) is this right?? so i didnt gain any fat today.. did i ?
omg this is so confusing!

anyway, there r 8 days left for prom, and i have to loose 4 pounds more!!

i weight 47.8kg.. thats about 105pounds :D thats one good thing! but i have to loose 4 pounds more (1.8kg) in 8days.. will i ?

I guess i have been doing a good job with the diet i invented but i dont really feel the changes.. lol

yesterday i had,
B- 3 light breads, cottage cheese, 2 turkey ham, papaya and one kellog's bar(400kcal..ewww disgusting)
L- Prune + Vegetarian Salad in subway (300kcal)
D-Skipped
Total: about 750 calories
GYM- 50min spinning (458kcal burned)
750-458 = about 300kcal

Today i had(liquids)
B- liquid yogurt, diet cocoa (100kcal)
L- Peach Juice (70kcal)
D- Diet cocoa, Fruit Juice(papaya, melon, banana)(about 225kcal)
I made some cup cake for my family but i ended up eating some..(50kcal)
Total: 450kcal

I will do 60min of spinning tomorrow( - 550kcal)

i hope i will be weighting about 47kg for Monday

xoxo

today several things happened..

#1 i was in the cafeteria at lunch and the nurse came to me and told me that i have to show her what i eat EVERY SINGLE DAY at school. if u could have seen my face.. i was like WTTTFFFFF?!?!?! well anyway, i'll show her some food and throw it away or give it to someone else later..


#2 48.3kg.... shiiiiit... NOT GOOD AT ALL!! well, thingking that i havent poop for like 3 days(coz my mom found out about my laxatives) and i had like a bottle of water in my stomach maybe its not that bad.. right?

#3 today i had about 400kcal... AGAIN NOT GOOD AT ALL!! and it was suppose to be a liquid fast..
its my mom's fault coz she made me steamed fish and i ate a LOT of papaya..
today i had..
B- Liquid Yogurt + Diet Chocolate with 1/2 skimmed milk(55kcal + 40kcal)
L- Peach Juice Light (35kcal)
D- Steamed fish + veggies (100kcal + 80kcal)
Papaya (30kcal)
Onion (40kcal)
total: 400kcal rounded..

and i went to the gym and burned about 200kcal..

tomorrow i will do better

xoxo

today is monday and it was a good start ;D
not really according to plan coz i went to my bf's house and usually my bf makes me eat Very Much.. but i told him that i ate shrimps yesterday and my stomach was kinda sick.. so he didnt force me to eat but he did force me to drink fruit juice!

i didnt have anything at all yesterday!
and today, i had
B- Veggies (120kcal rounded)
L- Milk Tea (not skimmed so 100 rounded)
D- Fruit juice (100)
total: 350 rounded

so, not that bad.. so so..

supposely i burn 1400kcal per day just by surviving so.. not very bad i guess!

Tommorow i will liquid fast and if i NEED to, i will have oatmeal..

xoxo

ok, this is my plan to lose 7 pounds in 2 weeks. i have to lose 3.5pounds per week. so i think its possible, not that hard.. is it?

Sunday - Fast
Monday - Negative calorie fruit (less than 100kcal)
Tuesday - Negative calorie veggie (less than 100kcal)
Wed - 1 powerbar(90kcal)
Thursday- Liquid Fast 1 soy milk(protein)
Friday - less than 300kcal(coz i usually take more calories on weekends)
Sat - Liquid Fast 1 milk (calcium)

do u think i will lose 7 pounds if i do this diet for 14days? is there something wrong with my plan? plz feel free to comment!!!

xoxo

My stats
5'1 - 5'2 im not good at converting. im 156cm
CW 107pounds 48.5kg
HW 126 56kg
LW 96 44kg
GW 94 42kg

mood: thoughtful

food is my worst enemy, i swear!

Thursday - Nothing at all
Friday - Veggies 200kcal
1/2 diet crackers with turkey ham 60 kcal
1 diet cookie 90kcal
1/2 Chef Salad at denny's 200kcal
total: about 600kcal
Sat(today) - its 9 o'clock and i have eaten
1 power bar 90kcal
5 lil pieces of chocolate 250kcal
veggies 150kcal
total: about 500 kcal

what the fuck is wrong with me???????

i think im really stressed coz my mom found out about my laxatives..
my stomach if filled with food and it feels Disgusting!!

mood: crappy

stats upload! everyday im closer to the goal.. well, at least i hope!

5'2 - 156cm

CW 108 - 48.5kg
LW 96 - 46kg
HW 126 - 56kg
GW 94-95 pounds - 43kg

yesterday's intake -> Horrible 600kcal

well, i skipped breakfast and lunch yesterday coz i had to go to a dinner.. i also went to the gym and burned about 300kcal. so, i went to the dinner and i ate, Very Much.
Then i took 5 pills of laxatives.

My bf gave me a box of chocolates(what is he thinking!??) i ate 2 lil ones and i gave the 28 left ones to my mom, haha.
so i did really bad yesterday.

today i havent eat anything so far, and im not going to!! i have to loose 10 pounds in 17days!!
im posting a pic of me and some thinspo!

xoxo

grrrrrrrr fuuuuckkkk!!! i totally messes up today!

everything was going Perfect until i got home and i walk into the kitchen.. yeah i know im a failure..

B- 1 light cookie 60kcal
L- skipped
D- 2 chicken crapes with white souce
4 lil pieces of chocolate


i just took 3 laxatives pills.. what the hell did i do? NOW I CANT FAST TOMORROW COZ I HAVE A DINNER I HAVE TO EAT!
FUUUUCKKK!!

This is my plan this week.
Monday - Fast (low-cal fruit juice allowed)
Tuesday - Fast (``)
Wed - Only dinner (coz i have a important dinner i have to go)
Thu- Fast( low-cal juice)
friday - I will try to fast but i never can on fridays :S

wish me luck!

HW- 126
CW - 109
GW - 92
Height - 5'1

ugggh not ana related but there is a website where u can post things about anyone u want(everybody in my highschool and other highschools goes into thats stupid page), and i found like 50 posts where i was called a SLUT, Plastic, MATERIAL girl and only $$$ in my brain..

ugggg why? i cried a lil.. well, i shouldnt care right?

do u consider this as a binge?
B-Diet Bread, Ham, super small piece of cheese, Milk tea = 150
L- Carrot Juice 40kcal
S- Milk coffee 40kcal
D- 2 cups of milk tea, lettuce = 100


so thats 330kcal and i did some chew n spit so lets say 400kcal.

i feel like i did fuckin terrible. specially breakfast. im Fasting tomorrow:D

today, at 10am i walked for like 30min, then i ate a bite of cheese, a bite of chicken ham and a lot of water. at 4pm my mom made spaggeti and i just could not resist it. i tried to puke but couldnt..
uggggggggg after that i walked for 2hrs. at 9pm i ate A LOT again, i just had 3 power bars, ham, cheese, papaya with yogurt.. whats happening to me?? im disgusting, seriously, im disgusting!

i cried a lot today.. coz my mom talked with me about being normal and healthy. she told me that tomorrow we can go buy the food i wanna eat. but i didnt do anything but cry in front of her. coz i know she wont understand that i dont wanna eat anything. i guess im not growing up according to her plan.

How can i stop eating at night??

some thinspo to motivate myself!!
i hope, i really hope that i will look like them someday. hopefully soon.

kisses

( Huge Thinspo! )

i just came back from the restaurant.
i ate, but i donno why i feel happier.
I took an over-dosis of laxatives like 10min ago.
i might die coz of a STRONG STOMACHACHE tonight. if i dont, i will go run early morning. and i have to study really hard for the stupid SAT..

i will work harder this weekend coz i got to weight 100 pounds in 2 weeks.(-11pound)

think thin

xoxo